When it's more than just a job

It seems so ironic, with all that's happening at work, that just a week or so ago I posted this tweet:

"When you enjoy your work so much that it doesn't feel like a job, 

you know you've found your passion." #sewing #etsyshop

I didn't have enough room for one more hashtag: #workingwithkids

Yes, I love to sew. That's one of my jobs that doesn't feel like work because I enjoy it so much.

But I'm also the assistant manager for an after-school program. And that job doesn't feel like a job either. It's  much more than a job. I love what I do. I love going in to work every day. And that's a rare thing. It's where my joy comes from. It's where my heart is. When you work with kids, it can't be any other way. Unless you're an evil grinch.

I mentioned a couple days ago that the program manager over the entire after-school program decided to shuffle staff without any notice and move me (after going on 5 years) to a different school next year with different kids, families and staff. It's been a very emotional week. I couldn't even drive up to the school without getting a lump in my throat.

The program manager seems to think these changes will improve the program overall. But my focus is on the individual child. And I know a lot of individual children who will have a very difficult time having me leave. Including myself.

We have created a safe haven. We are the ones they share almost 5 to 7 hours a day with. We're the ones who listen to their stories, watch their tricks, praise their talents, resolve their struggles, build their confidence, protect their secrets. We provide consistency through their ups and downs, and are especially important to those kids who come from homes and backgrounds that are less than perfect.

I was born with a mother's heart, but wasn't able to have my own kids. I love these kids like they were my own. They matter to me. This job matters to me. In this place. With these children. With these families. Nothing on paper can show you that.

I'm hoping to meet with the manager and ask for him to reconsider, but it seems very unlikely he will change his decision. I have a feeling he'll hear me out and simply pat me on the shoulder and tell me change is hard. I know time can heal my sadness and I can start over at a new school, love new children, and bond with new staff, but WHY break up something that is already working well to fill holes in other places?? It just doesn't make sense to me. It can all be avoided by hiring and training good people without breaking up the great teams to fill the empty spaces.

I feel drained, defeated and very sad. I don't know entirely what the end looks like, but I'm hoping it's better than it seems right now.

Thanks for listening. Send prayers that the big boss will change his mind.

{Just a few of the reasons I love these kids}

UPDATE:
Follow updates on my job change:
Next post: Still no answers (bottom of post)
Final post: Miracles (bottom of post)

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